GENERATIONAL KARMA

The text read “Well you will find this humorous.  Rosie shoved a LEGO up her nose and we are on our way to emergency to get it out”

Well, actually it was spelled ‘humerus’, but you get the picture.

And yes, yes we did find it very humorous.  It couldn’t have happened to a more deserving mama.

Not that we were happy poor little Rosie had to experience a LEGO extraction at the hands of a medical team, but one hopes that she’s taken the lesson to heart … LEGOs have their place, but that place is not up a toddler’s nose.

After a few more texts about the apple not falling far from the tree, grandma and grandpa signed off.  The young family had arrived at the hospital and some real fun was about to begin.

It took us back though - approximately 30 years ago to a time when Rosie’s mommy was toddling around this house … inquisitive … curious … experimental.  There are so many questions that need to be answered at that age.

And so it came to pass one evening that she took it upon herself to see what would happen if she stuck something other than her finger up her nostril.  She didn’t share her intentions with anyone, just wandered off into a quiet place, sorted through a variety of smallish, roundish trinkets that might fit and having evaded any and all persons who might have stopped her fiendish little game decided to carry through on her plan.  One Hot Wheels tire up her left nostril, just like that.

Not that it’s unusual to see a little kid with her finger up her nose, but when she reappeared in the living room a few minutes later it was obvious that something was amiss.  A mother can always spot that guilty look no matter how much nonchalance a kid tries to portray.  With clues like a bright red beezer and the snorting/snuffling sounds coming from that worried little face it was obvious to know where to look.  Can’t say as we expected to spot a shiny black object sporting tire treads up there, though.  But hey, she was the third kid; it takes a lot to surprise once you’re that far into the game.

Of course Mom and Dad tried to retrieve it themselves.  Why traumatize a child in a medical situation if you can accomplish the same level of distress at home?

Did you know that once a Hot Wheels tire has been lubricated (ewe!) and pinched together, it slides neatly up a nostril?  But, once it reaches a certain place – a place where the channel widens back out to form a roundish chamber, the tire can expand back to its natural shape.  The resulting tension holds it in place, the winter tire treads provide added traction.  Who knew?  Certainly not us until we tried to get it to slide back out again.

Another pertinent observation from that night: two adults, not matter how calm they make their voices sound, no matter how many arms they have, no matter what they can think of to offer as a bribe, there is no way to get a pair of tweezers close enough to a flailing, manic, berserk three year old’s face to do anything more that probably take out one of her eyes in the process. 

Plan B was the inevitable trip to emergency.

It went quite smoothly once we got there.  This time both Mom and Dad could hold her down and soothe her- and just maybe the child given her all in the first fight.    Also, Dr. Pesenti’s tweezers were much more suited to nostril extractions, and the speed with which she operated made one think that this wasn’t her first rodeo. 

As we stood around afterwards examining the well-travelled tire someone asked our little princess why she had put it up her nose in the first place, wasn’t she scared it would get stuck up there?  To which she famously replied in a bit of a disgusted voice “Well, it came out fine the first time!”

And now it’s her daughter choosing to store LEGO in that little nasal chamber at the bridge of her cute little nose … not a pointy piece, mind you, just one of the LEGO people’s heads.  Apparently they fit in there perfectly. 

I wonder what the next generation will think of?