MY HAPPY PLACE

There was a woman sitting at the next table to us, eating alone, playing on her phone from time to time, and it occurred to me several times during our three hour lunch, was she listening in on this convoluted, caring, crazy conversation my friend and I were having?  And if so, what was she thinking?  Was she shocked at some of the topics we covered?  Did she identify with some of our life observations?  Did she wish she was seated somewhere else?  And if so, was that farther away, or right at our table so she could join in?

My friend and I try to meet for lunch to ‘catch up’ once or twice a year.  We live over a hundred miles apart and even though we’re both retired we still lead busy lives, it isn’t as easy to get together as one would think.  This date we had on Friday was almost a full year since the last time and we both made a vow not to let it go that long again.  We absolutely do each other a world of good.

Long before we met through our work lives our personal lives had taken very similar paths.  We both married very young and found ourselves as single moms in our early twenties.  We responded to this Life curveball with the same kind of determination born of devastation; we stepped up to the plate and provided for our kids and rebuilt our lives.  We both remarried and had more kids but that kind of impact on our life experience was and is still indelible. 

I have other friends, some with more experience and some with less.  All of them contribute to who I am, but this friend and me?  Well, I guess we are just on the same page.  We understand the same things the same way.  That’s not to say that our conversations are dull - just ask the gal at the next table to us.  We talked and laughed for three straight hours.  The waitress nearly gave up on us; it took us half an hour to remember we needed to order food.   

Imagine!  Women forgetting to order food.

Our range of topics was all over the place.  What were our plans for the week?  The summer?  The year?  How were our families doing?  We touched on health issues, and home life.  There were memories of our work years and the people we knew in common.  We talked of the long term plans one has to make in retirement to make sure that the money lasts as long as we do.  We also spoke of the things that bring us dissatisfaction and grief, and yet after a short pause in the conversation she gestured to the full dining room around us and said “Look at this.  Women need women.”  She was right; the tables were full, and probably 90% of the crowd was female.  To the casual observer the place was a restaurant, but within its walls there were countless therapy taking place.  Coffee and confessions.  Cream soup and condolences.  Sandwiches and spirit lifting.  Lemon pie and laughter.

Time ticked by on us.  About the two and a quarter hour mark, when we both knew we would have to wrap up our visit soon, I was reminded of a presentation we had been a part of during our work days.  It had been aimed at helping us deal with stress and encouraged us all to identify our personal ‘happy place’ so that when the going got tough on any given day we had a place to retreat to, even if only in our imaginations.

I smiled across the table and said “This is my happy place.”  She knew exactly what I meant.

It’s not that it’s my only happy place.  I also love my yard and gardens.  I love the time I spend with my grandchildren and I have some actual blood related sisters whom I cherish dearly.  In fact, my life is full of blessings.

But, as I drove home later that day - my soul up-lifted, my heart light and happy, my consciousness reset to a fresh level of possibilities - that as far as happy places go, there was no doubt that lunch with this friend was a ten out of ten.