HERE’S HOPING THIS WILL ALL BE FUNNY SOMEDAY

I confess: I do buy my toilet paper in the biggest package that Costco offers.  That would be a case of 24 rolls.  The last time I was there – I think it was in November- I did indeed make such a purchase.  Amid all this toilet paper madness I just went and checked our supply; we still half of that left.  I guess two people don’t use all that much toilet paper.  I will probably need to buy more – like, in July.

I hear that there are people – well, scalpers, really – selling bottles of hand sanitizer for over $100.00 a bottle.  Maybe I should get in on that and sell the little purse sized bottles I’ve got kicking around the place for $50.00?  I hate the stuff.  I would rather wash my hands with soap and water any day. 

Another commodity in demand, I hear, is canned beans.  Okay, I understand.  We all consider this to be a staple food; a nutritious emergency meal needing only a can opener and a spoon to access it, and it can be enjoyed both hot and cold.  Is it the ‘emergency’ feature of beans that has people buying whole cases?  Do they think that the coronavirus is going to infect our power grid too?  That we won’t be able to cook anything?  That their chances of getting sick of beans isn’t every bit as high contracting COVID-19 ?  It really made me smile to hear that the bags of dry beans were also disappearing from store shelves.  Really?  How many people actually know how to turn those little pellets into food, anyway? 

“May you live in interesting times.”

This is said to be a Chinese curse – not the disease and resulting worldwide pandemic, but the actual saying  ‘may you live in interesting times’.  Oh the irony of it all!  These very interesting times are compliments of a virus that first showed up in China: just one more interesting fact to ponder as the days go by and we continually check for news updates.

It’s not like we haven’t been warned repeatedly that we were due a significant infection.  Scientists have been predicting and preparing for this exact scenario for decades, and have had test runs with SARS and MERS and H1N1.  They’ve seen how some diseases are more lethal and some are more infectious.  I remember reading that the most serious problem to deal with is the ease and speed of infection that a disease can manage, the worst case scenario being when a person is infectious before he or she knows they are sick.  That is COVID-19’s secret power; that is why its rate of spread is so alarming.

Its other super power has been that our human response to it has been underwhelming until this past week. 

At the global level the World Health Organization has been holding regular press conferences to alert governments of the disease’s progress. 

At the individual country level there have been differing attitudes as to how seriously to take the threat – some have fared better than others.  Italy is in real trouble and many others are only a week behind. 

At the ordinary people level we have the good ones who are self isolating without even being asked, and the ridiculous ones who are hoarding more toilet paper than they will ever use.

It remains to be seen how this will play out.  It is possible that cancelling all sports games and music concerts is going over the top.  Maybe shutting down schools is unnecessary.  Maybe travel bans are crazy. 

But, won’t it be nice to sit around with all of our loved ones in five years and laugh about how we over reacted? 

Then again, won’t it be just nice to sit around with all of our loved ones in five years and discuss how much we learned from our fight with COVID-19? 

Some of us still won’t be out of toilet paper.