LETTING GO

Moving forward, by definition, means leaving something else behind.

We’ve all be there.  When you think about it, life is nothing but a series of hellos and goodbyes.

Sometimes the circumstances are of our own choice and sometimes they are beyond our control, but undeniably, moving forward always means change.  It takes us out of our comfort zones.  It makes us learn new stuff.  We are forced to face new challenges and grow to meet new realities.

It’s scary.  But it is also exciting.

These past few weeks I’ve been trying to think of ways to help my grandchildren – and their parents – prepare for a move.  A literal move from one home and lifestyle to another one: from an acreage with wide open spaces to town life, from a smaller house in a huge yard with many gardens to a bigger house on a smaller lot, from small town school classrooms to much bigger schools. Every day that they get closer to the big day the worries about “Are we doing the right thing?” get bigger.  I’ve been in similar situations; it is very scary.

It's not that this move hasn’t been thought through.  I would guess it has been in the works for at least three years and the reasons for it are valid.  Its economically positive and opens employment and educational opportunities up for both mom and kids.  It’s still scary. 

Last summer it was another set of grandkids who were in the same position.  Their lifestyle is prone to moves because of their dad’s job but this was the first time they were old enough to be affected by the upheaval in their personal lives.  They were leaving behind the only home they could remember and all their school friends.  They were switching from tiny classes in a French emersion school to larger classes taught in English, and as it worked out their stay-at-home Mom would be going back to work fulltime too.  Life would never be the same.  They spent most of last August with us while all the moving commotion went on; their worries floated just below their usual sunny dispositions.  It was a long month … but it did turn out just fine.  The most important part was that they were making the change together, as a family.  They could adapt and grow together, and they have.

The packing up part of this move is almost done.  The house is a jumble of boxes and empty walls and no one knows where anything is anymore, a situation that won’t change for months.  Everyone’s nerves are frayed and emotions bubble up at the slightest provocation.  It’s D-Day minus 2 now and the kids are coming here so mom can finish cleaning.  Hopefully holidaying at grandma and grandpas will give everyone a break.

Undeniably there are harder things to say goodbye to.  Places and things can be replaced, losing a person is much worse, but they all take adjustment.  You just have muddle through somehow.  What’s that expression – fake it till you make it?  Do any of these worn-out cliches sound helpful?

In gymnastics, when the athlete’s routine involves traveling along a series of hanging rings, he or she uses their momentum from swinging forward on one ring to reach for the next.  If the move is to be successful there is a crucial moment when they have to let go of one they have a safe grip on in order to reach for another.  That’s where we’re at.  This is that moment.

My guess is that a year from now they will look back and not remember these tough days of letting go, but the meeting of new friends and being able to join more activities because there are so many more options close by … which will begin to build the momentum they need to reach for the next ring in their lives. 

Life is nothing but a series of hellos and goodbyes, and it’s not all bad.