AS SOON AS I GET BACK FROM EUROPE

The windows need washing.  They are all dirty but the bathroom window is atrocious – robins built a nest just above it and left a full bird family’s excrement over the summer.  Numerous species of flies have tried to match this gross calling card on other windows too.  As disgusting as they all are though, I’m not going to wash them yet. I will do the job when I get back from Europe.

Isn’t that a cool thing to say when you announce your plans to procrastinate?  Just out and say “I’ll do it as soon as I get back from Europe!”

Firstly, it sounds so blasé and worldly, all at the same time.  It’s out-of-the-ordinary and has a lovely fairy-tale ring to it. 

I know; I live a boring life and am easily charmed.

Secondly, I am a world class procrastinator.  If procrastination were an Olympic sport, I would have a room full of gold medals.  Mind you, they would all still be in boxes because I would never get around to displaying them - that’s just how good I am. 

What greater way to say “That’ll never get done” than to put it off “till I get back from Europe”?

The thing is I am also a truth teller.  As bizarre as it sounds, I am about to go to Europe, and not a word of a lie here, I do not intend to wash my windows until I get back.  I only have four days left before departure.  I don’t have time for windows right now.

What I do have in front of me is a list of more immediate concerns … like my hair and nails.  Obviously, I am a procrastinator with a vanity problem.

On a more serious note, I plan to prepare two weeks worth of meals to keep my husband from starvation while I am gone.  It’s not that he can’t cook for himself but at this time of the year he works long hours.  Microwaving a prepared meal is way easier than starting from scratch.  It also keeps the man-cooking mess to a minimum.  I’m all for that; I already have all those windows to do when I get home, remember?

The other biggy on my ‘To Do’ list is packing.  I’ve been kind of working on that all summer, trying to picture what a person wears while touring medieval churches and wandering down cobblestone streets.  Do I have the right clothing for sipping coffee at a quaint little sidewalk café? The itinerary mentions a day at a national park – I will need good walking shoes. There will be beaches to explore and we are warned to bring water shoes.  Part of the trip is sailing between islands on the Adriatic Sea with our final evening a fancy Captain’s Dinner – I better bring something nice for that.  Or, maybe I can buy something ‘European exotic’ instead?  Now there’s a thought.

So far all I have is an open suitcase on the guest bed with my passport, a European power converter plug, and an envelope of Croatian Euros in it, plus a whole bunch of clothing laid across the bed in my ‘possibility pile’.  I will get there.  I do still have four days.

I seem to have come to a transition in the last day or two.  Up until last night, whenever I woke at 4:00 am to ponder middle-of-the-night problems it was the regular stuff that wouldn’t let me go back to sleep.  Last night I got to thinking about the details of this trip.  The flights I would be on, the time zones I would be in, the people I would be meeting.  This has been in the works since Easter but now it’s getting real.  I’m about to explore a foreign land, soak up history, try local cuisine, travel on a yacht, plus a hundred other adventures with a bunch of other people who are interested in, and looking forward to, the same things.  It just doesn’t get any better than that.

I’ve got to clean up my garden and defrost the deep freezes too.  I’ll do that as soon as I get back from Europe.

I just like saying it.

 

TIME IN A BOTTLE

One of my most very favourite songs is Jim Croce’s Time in a Bottle:

    If I could save time in a bottle The first thing that I’d like to do

    Is to save every day ‘til eternity passes away Just to spend them with you.

Whether these words evoke memories of people who are living or gone, the sentiment is the same.  The moments we shared with them are in the past, out of reach, water that has travelled on in the river of life.  It will never pass this way again.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful to uncork a bottle, take a deep breath of memory, and find yourself holding your two-year-old’s hand, or paying closer attention to your grandmother’s stories, or standing still while your mother does a fitting for a dress she is sewing for you, or sharing laughter over an inside joke with your husband knowing you are the only two on the planet who know what is so funny.

    If I could make days last forever If words could make wishes come true

    I’d save every day like a treasure, and then Again, I would spend them with you.

We’ve all been there.  The longing to spend just a little longer with someone or something we love.  The wanting to linger in a moment – the innocence and trust of childhood friendships, the delicious rush of falling in love, the breath-taking mixture of naiveté and over confidence when we stepped out into the world to make our own way, the mind-bending awe of holding our newborn children in our arms.  All of these things are precious beyond words; how lovely it would be to travel in time to experience them once more.

This past week, as summer finally let go her fierce strangle-hold of unrelenting heat and smoke from distant fires, I have felt the year slip quietly in to autumn mode.  The sun is kinder on my skin.  The garden is giving up its bounty.  The leaves are turning color.  The air is tinged with the scent of completeness and satisfaction.  Crickets sing us to sleep at night.

This is, by far, my favorite time of the year.  If I had a bottle to save time in it would be decorated in fall colors and smell like ripe apples.  These are the days where time already seems to be suspended, breathless, hushed.

Of course, there is work to do.  The point of sowing a crop is to reap it.  Whether it is cucumbers or canola, potatoes or wheat, there are long hours of harvest and storage ahead.  There will be meals on the run, long days and short nights, aching backs and skinned knuckles, but along with these things are also the feelings of satisfaction and accomplishment.  Of doing worthwhile work in a world that needs the foods that you grow.

    If I had a box made for wishes And dreams that had never come true

    The box would be empty Except for the memory of how they were answered by you.

If I had a box made for wishes, and dreams that had never come true, I guess my box would be empty too. 

To be living in this place, and in this time, is exquisite.  Our lives are own personal bottles.  Savor them.

 

ARRRGGGH!

It all started with a missed phone call.  There are not too many times that I don’t have my phone with me but occasionally I head out to the garden without it.  No problem, that’s what voicemail is for.  That is, if you can access your voicemail.  That’s always handy.

Like I said, this doesn’t happen very often so I don’t have to retrieve voicemail very often either.  When I do though, it is with the same access pin number that I have used from the beginning of voicemail time.  A simple, easily remembered 4-digit code that has never changed.  This time, though, the recording said I got it wrong … all three times I tried it.  They only give you three tries and then they make you take a time out.  I muttered some colorful words and went on with my life.

You can’t ignore voicemail though.  Every so often, at random times of the day, your phone goes spastic with very annoying startling sounds to remind you to check your messages.  So I tried again … with my personal pass code, my three-strikes-and-you’re-out code, only to be told I had failed once more.  I have no idea what forces were at play in the universe to alter my code; was it my phone? was it some glitch at Sasktel’s end? had I been hacked by aliens? No matter what the reason, I was unable to get my message. 

Did you know that after you have tried and failed twelve times you are then blocked from your own account?  That the only way to rectify the situation is to call Sasktel?  This isn’t annoying at all.  I decided that the portion of my life that I would spend on hold wasn’t worth whatever the message was.  Who needs voicemail anyway?  Who cared whether I got my messages or not?  Not me, that was for sure.

But my phone did.  It cared.  And at random times of the day it would go into it’s spastic little alarm sounds and I would shut it down and say some more bad words.  This went on for maybe a week before I finally gave in and dialed up Sasktel tech support.  We went through the identification process and the which-number-are-you-calling-about part before I got to talk to a real live human being who immediately informed me that I was not allowed to change the pass code on my own account because I was not the owner of the account.  I would need my husband’s permission to access my voicemail.  This didn’t upset me at all.  The nice gentleman at Sasktel detected this.

As it happened my husband was out on a tractor and wouldn’t be able to help us fix the problem so the fellow on the phone said he would send me a link to go in and fix it online.  I don’t know if he actually thought that it would work or not, I’m pretty sure he just wanted to get off the phone while I was still managing to control more bad words.  I thanked him and said goodbye.  I used the link he sent me, followed the steps they set out, but when it got to the part to actually change the pass code I had to tell them which phone number I wished to change and I was shut down again.  I was only the co-owner of the account, I still needed permission.  I wonder where my blood pressure was at after that one, I should have checked.

Another day or two passed.  In order for this to be remedied I had to remember to call during business hours when the all-powerful owner of the account was available to give his blessing.  Meanwhile I tried to go in on my phone and shut off the voicemail alarm, but if there is a way to do this I couldn’t find it.  I contemplated calling Sasktel to cancel even having voicemail but was afraid that if they would let me do that (without permission) with my luck the offending voicemail (and alarms) would remain on my phone to haunt me forever.  Time went on, my muttering bad words escalated.

Finally I could take it no more.  One of those #*%@#! alarms went off at 12:30 am and woke me up to toss and turn until 4:30ish, working myself into a state of fury at whomever it was that made up this stupid rule. 

You have to understand: The only thing Glen has to do with this account is he uses his phone.  I do – and always have – done every single other thing.  I pay the bills, I am the only user of email, I set up the mySASK portal, and I have made every single trouble shooting call over 40 some years.  About 3:15 am it even dawned on me that in all reality the account was mine.  When we got married and moved to the farm, I had transferred it to his name because back in the olden days there was one phone per household and it was registered under the head of the household’s name.  Who could have foreseen in 1983 where telecommunications would be by now?  Now every single person in a house has at least one phone and privacy laws have gone overboard stupid.  I can literally change the password on the online account so that the owner can’t access it, but I can’t change a code on my own voicemail account without his permission.  If we had a swear jar around here it would be full by now.

The very next morning, shortly after breakfast and while the farmer was still in the house, I dialled up Sasktel one more time.  I proved who I was, Glen proved who he was and gave his blessing to allow me to fix what I still think was a problem created by Sasktel in the first place.  I have chosen a new easy to remember code but I really hope I never hear that voicemail alarm ever again.  If you want to leave me a message, just send me a text.  Please.

 

 

LETTING GO

Moving forward, by definition, means leaving something else behind.

We’ve all be there.  When you think about it, life is nothing but a series of hellos and goodbyes.

Sometimes the circumstances are of our own choice and sometimes they are beyond our control, but undeniably, moving forward always means change.  It takes us out of our comfort zones.  It makes us learn new stuff.  We are forced to face new challenges and grow to meet new realities.

It’s scary.  But it is also exciting.

These past few weeks I’ve been trying to think of ways to help my grandchildren – and their parents – prepare for a move.  A literal move from one home and lifestyle to another one: from an acreage with wide open spaces to town life, from a smaller house in a huge yard with many gardens to a bigger house on a smaller lot, from small town school classrooms to much bigger schools. Every day that they get closer to the big day the worries about “Are we doing the right thing?” get bigger.  I’ve been in similar situations; it is very scary.

It's not that this move hasn’t been thought through.  I would guess it has been in the works for at least three years and the reasons for it are valid.  Its economically positive and opens employment and educational opportunities up for both mom and kids.  It’s still scary. 

Last summer it was another set of grandkids who were in the same position.  Their lifestyle is prone to moves because of their dad’s job but this was the first time they were old enough to be affected by the upheaval in their personal lives.  They were leaving behind the only home they could remember and all their school friends.  They were switching from tiny classes in a French emersion school to larger classes taught in English, and as it worked out their stay-at-home Mom would be going back to work fulltime too.  Life would never be the same.  They spent most of last August with us while all the moving commotion went on; their worries floated just below their usual sunny dispositions.  It was a long month … but it did turn out just fine.  The most important part was that they were making the change together, as a family.  They could adapt and grow together, and they have.

The packing up part of this move is almost done.  The house is a jumble of boxes and empty walls and no one knows where anything is anymore, a situation that won’t change for months.  Everyone’s nerves are frayed and emotions bubble up at the slightest provocation.  It’s D-Day minus 2 now and the kids are coming here so mom can finish cleaning.  Hopefully holidaying at grandma and grandpas will give everyone a break.

Undeniably there are harder things to say goodbye to.  Places and things can be replaced, losing a person is much worse, but they all take adjustment.  You just have muddle through somehow.  What’s that expression – fake it till you make it?  Do any of these worn-out cliches sound helpful?

In gymnastics, when the athlete’s routine involves traveling along a series of hanging rings, he or she uses their momentum from swinging forward on one ring to reach for the next.  If the move is to be successful there is a crucial moment when they have to let go of one they have a safe grip on in order to reach for another.  That’s where we’re at.  This is that moment.

My guess is that a year from now they will look back and not remember these tough days of letting go, but the meeting of new friends and being able to join more activities because there are so many more options close by … which will begin to build the momentum they need to reach for the next ring in their lives. 

Life is nothing but a series of hellos and goodbyes, and it’s not all bad.  

 

THE SUMMER OF ’23 – SO FAR

Back in the olden days when summer holidays were the period of time between one grade and the next at school, I was the kind of kid who worried about having nothing to write about in the inevitable “what I did on my summer holidays” assignment in September.  Other kids went on trips or had cabins at the lake or got to go to the city or something.  All we ever did was ride bikes over to our uncle’s place and shell peas for mom or go pick wild strawberries and put pennies on the railroad tracks for the train to squish flat.  Yes, I am that old – back in the olden days there were trains.

It's a pity that I’m not headed back to school this September.  It’s not even all the way through July and I have enough for an essay.

I hardly know where to start.  Maybe when our truck was pronounced dead in the middle of seeding?  And the debate that followed as to what to do about the situation.  Buy? Or try to fix?  And if the answer was buy, new or used?  And how to go about this vehicle shopping when he was still out on a tractor.  The job was delegated to our son-in-law who found us a good deal in Selkirk, Manitoba so summer ’23 started off with a trip to see the Manitoba grandkids and driving home in a truck whose A/C didn’t work, but that’s another story and it’s fixed now so no worries.

Next up was the July long weekend with three grandkids on an extended sleep-over and another family here for a two-night stay.  We crammed in a wiener roast and a s’more fest, the kids blew through maybe 100 water balloons and the lawn around the trampoline got well watered with hose and sprinkler activity before their parents picked them up and took them camping.  I had a few days to catch my breath before I spent a few days at the lake too.

By that time I had company coming from B.C.  Imagine, people who are crazy enough to think Penticton to Redvers is an easy drive.  And two days’ visit here.  And two days back.  I get tired just thinking about it.

It was a great visit though.  Those mountain folk had to have some prairie farmland lessons on what canola looks like and when it’s ready for harvest (ie: not in the flower stage) and what the different crops look like at 60 miles mph.  But that’s okay, I probably couldn’t tell peaches from apples at that speed either.  There was even lessons on how to drive a hay conditioner that will give bragging rights for years to come – especially when I sent them a picture of the farmer who gave the lessons stuck up to his axels before they were even out of Saskatchewan.  They are unconvinced that there is any wildlife besides gophers and grasshoppers.  One raccoon roadkill is the one and only critter they saw until they were back in B.C.  That’s got to be some kind of record.

I came through with the requested pie, cinnamon buns and raspberry muffins for them and they gifted me with a case of assorted Okanogan wines.  Win/Win.

To round out their adventure we took them out for the pure prairie ambiance one enjoys at a bar and steak pit.  Thank you, Maryfield Hotel – you never disappoint.

It is back to some kind of normal now.  I’ve picked raspberries and peas, weeded garden and mowed lawn, and made beet pickles – my hands are an intriguing mix of purple skin and black nails at the moment and my kitchen smells very ‘pickley’.

It’s ironic that the very things that I thought were too boring to write about when I was a kid – garden, company, staying home – are now enriching experiences that I’m happy to write about.

Attitude and perspective – that’s what makes us old folks wise.  

Now I just need someone to grade my paper and give me an ‘A’.

 

 

LONG DISTANCE FRIENDS

They’re actually coming. 

We’ve been talking about this visit for so long it seemed like it was likely to stay in the ‘someday’ category, but I have a message right in front of me that says “We’re coming!”  There are even some convincing details like dates and times and places.  I do believe that a week from today I will have company from B.C.  One of them I’ve even met before … in Beijing Airport … in the middle of the only typhoon I hope to encounter in my life.  She and her grandson were the only other human beings in that turmoil who spoke English.  It was the worst of times: it was the best of times.

I was on my way home from visiting my newest grandson.  My son-in-law had dropped me off at the airport, both of us certain I could handle check in on my own.  There was a light rain at the time.  Had anyone bothered to check the weather that morning there were probably storm warnings, but of course they would have been on Chinese TV and offered in the local language.  We were oblivious.

I was plenty early for my flight so once I was checked in and found my way to the right departure lounge, I had lots of time to relax.  My soon-to-be friend had just flown in from Katmandu (doesn’t that sound exotic?) and was on her way home to Canada too.  She was busy with a young boy; their easy demeanor and body language told me that they were family, but their appearances made them stand out.  She was a middle-aged Caucasian Canadian and he was, as I would later learn, Tibetan.  As we sat and waited my story-telling brain went into overdrive trying to come up with a scenario that would put them together.  People watching is one of my favorite things to do.

We boarded the 747 insulated from the noise and commotion of the storm building around us.  There was no hint of how the night was going until I sat down and looked out my window.  It was raining.  Hard.  I spent the first part of a very long wait wishing that we would just take off and be on our way.  As time ticked by and the tarmac disappeared under water I changed my mind about that. I don’t like hydro-planing in a car, I could not imagine that in a plane during take off, it would be a good idea either.

Finally, the captain came on and told us that this was a monsoon and no one was going anywhere.  He reassured us that we would be taken care of and we were to take our carry-on with us but that checked luggage would stay on the plane and we would leave in the morning.  These were the last clear English words we heard for at least 24 hours.

We found ourselves back in the terminal filled with thousands of other disrupted travellers.  I had a plan – I happened to be flying first class that time (back when my husband was making oilfield dollars) and I was just going to camp out in the First Class lounge.  No way was I going to leave and risk missing my flight the next day.  When I ran into the grandmother and little boy again, I told her my plan.  She liked it – we bonded.

But nothing was to be that simple.  Beijing Airport was CLOSING for the night.  Can you imagine?  Everyone had to go somewhere else.  In a monsoon.

We were herded here and told they now expected us to claim our luggage first.  We were herded there and told we had to go somewhere else to claim our bags.  Another announcer told us there was no food or anything to drink.  But, they would send buses for us.  And take us to hotels where we could phone our families.  All of this delivered by people who spoke more English that I spoke Chinese … but not by much.

Marilyn (my new friend) and her grandson (Kai) and I became inseparable.  Even if we didn’t know what was going on, at least we could comprehend what each other was saying.  We did our best to follow instructions and spent hours waiting for our luggage while we exchanged life stories.  Kai played Angry Birds on my iPad until the battery went dead.

Finally we were herded toward buses in the pouring rain and set off into the unknown, made all the more confusing because a number of the buses ahead of us turned around mid-road and headed back.  Our driver was either braver or a dare devil but we made it through.  (Interesting side note here: did you know that when torrential downpours have nowhere else to go the water will blow manhole covers off and the resulting ‘fountain’ can shoot higher than a bus?)

Eventually we arrived at our promised hotel: soggy, hungry, tired, and stressed.

We lined up to book into rooms.  We each could have had our own but somehow it just seemed smarter/safer/more comforting to stay together.  Besides, it was going to take both of us to figure out how to make these international calls we needed to make.  Somewhere I have pictures of us eating what little was left of a Chinese food buffet at midnight, happy to be there together.

Obviously we made it home and added each other to our Facebook friends lists.  At some point Marilyn’s daughter (Kai’s mother) Sandra, friended me too to thank me for taking care of them on that dark and stormy night in Beijing (I recall it being more of a mutual benefit proposition) and our friendship has blossomed too.  There have been many invitations to come visit – in both directions – and it seems like it’s really going to happen next week.

They are driving, not flying.  The Canadian Prairies aren’t known for their monsoons but it’s probably a good thing anyway.

 

WHAT SHALL WE DO TODAY …

A normal summer day around here starts at 5:00 am.  There was a time in my life when I considered this to be still the middle of the night – I mean, who in their right mind would get up at such a ridiculous hour?  My mother would smile and tell me that “it was the most wonderful time of the day.”  As a mother of seven children, she knew where to find peace and tranquility.  We had a small dairy farm; she got up early every morning and went to bring the cows in for milking.  I was in my teens and thought of this as drudgery, she was much wiser and recognised it as a gift.

There are no cows to go fetch in my life but I do enjoy sitting on the deck, sipping my coffee and watching the cattle grazing across the road.  There are mourning doves coo-cooing in the evergreens, hummingbirds buzzing past me on their way to the feeder, robins and brown thrashers picking worms out the lawn for their breakfasts, and red-winged blackbirds singing their morning song from the cat tails across the road.  Reassurance that all is well with the world.

A day that starts as early as 5:00 has a lot of potential but in the heat we’ve been experiencing lately a girl needs a plan to survive the day. 

The first order on my daily agenda is to get up and close all the windows.  This is called ‘shutting the cool in’ and is even more important than #2 – hitting ‘go’ on the coffee machine.  Then there is breakfast and getting the man out the door with his lunch on whatever mission he has for the day thus leaving me free to sit on the deck, bird watch, and plan my day.

Remember the cartoon series Pinky and the Brain from the mid 1990s?  Remember how Pinky would ask the Brain every episode “What are we going to do tonight, Brain?” to which Brain inevitably replied “We are going to take over the world.”  Well, except for the names and a few other changes, that is what goes through my mind at 6:00 every morning.  How best to tackle my day?  What can I get done?  What can I postpone? Is it an outside job kind of day?  When did I last fertilize my deck planters? Do I need to go to town for anything? 

And the one question that is there Every. Single. Day.  What do I make for supper?

I’m pretty sure that taking over the world would be easier than a new meal plan 24/7/365 forever and ever, amen.

All of these quandaries depend on the weather.  Every single one of them.  How hot is it going to be?  And when is the heat going to hit?  On a good day it’s 10:00 before it’s too hot to weed, on a bad day weeding is stroked off the ‘to do’ list before my coffee is cold.  What I choose to wear depends on the temperature and there are days when I change 3 or 4 times to keep up with weather fluctuations and activity levels.  Likewise, the supper menu choices rely on whether I want to turn my oven on, or not.  There’s been a lot of BBQ and salads lately, with a couple of crock pot meals cooked out on the deck table for variety.

I also have to wrestle with practicality.  There can be a whole bunch of things to do that I really don’t care for and some that are among my favorites.  My windows are in extreme need of cleaning but I hate that job.  On the other hand I could do a load or two of laundry – I’m not crazy about the folding and putting away part of that job but the washing is easy and I LOVE hanging it out on the line, and how it smells when it comes back in.  Laundry wins over windows almost every time. 

Likewise the cleaning-the-fridge-out vs. tending flower beds battle.  Mowing the lawn is the biggest temptation of all; I love the smell of fresh cut grass and how easy my zero-turn mower makes the job.  Luckily the price of gas holds me back. 

This morning common sense and weeding the vegetable garden won out.  Two hours of reasonable temperatures and a nice breeze to discourage biting insects and the job was done.  It’s not even noon and I am back on the deck wondering ‘what next?’  And also ‘what’s for supper’?

The thing is, a person has to be careful not to overthink things.  That’s what the Brain used to do.  His plans to take over the world were so detailed and convoluted that they never worked.  Pinky came much closer to success by bumbling along with good fortune almost falling in his lap at times.  I identify with that kind of approach.  I’m going to fix myself some lunch (while ignoring that the fridge still needs to be cleaned out), watch the noon news, and go with whatever the afternoon turns up.

Like maybe a nap.  Narf!