LIFE OR DEATH

“What should I make for supper tonight?”

It’s an age-old question, asked at least 18 billion times over the eons.  Whether the options were mammoth stew or fish soup over an open fire in front of a cave, or a sophisticated ratatouille or fancy chowder prepared on a state-of-the-art convection surface, the woman seeking menu inspiration will be left hanging.  Of the 18 billion enquiries there have only been 2,681 helpful answers (this is not verifiable given the time lapse, but highly likely given my personal experience.  The last woman in my family line to actually get a definitive answer was a gal in the Middle Ages who had to then go catch a rabbit to roast for him, but at least the decision part was over).

It’s 1:25 on a Saturday afternoon.  I own three deep freezes (Covid consequence) which hold countless meal options.  I own 53 recipe books, a small file box stuffed with my favorites, and I have been known to ask Google for help in a pinch, as well.  My kitchen is well stocked in cookware, utensils, and gadgets for use in my oven, microwave, stovetop, or air fryer as the mood strikes me.  I have a BBQ and a smoker at my disposal.  I am an incredibly lucky person to live in a first world country surrounded by such wealth and privilege … but would someone please tell me what to make for supper?  I’ll make extra if you want to stay for the meal.

I know part of the problem is that I’m not hungry right now.  I reheated a little KD and a leftover hotdog an hour ago and really couldn’t care less about eating at the moment.  Honestly, if there weren’t other people around here expecting an evening meal I would probably have toast and maybe an egg and call it good. 

And there are some radishes ready in the garden.  Are radishes considered a vegetable?

Isn’t it funny how time slips away?  We are now mid afternoon and inspiration has yet to strike. Weirdly this shortening of the timeline is playing in my favour. 

A couple hours ago I had so many more choices, but not so anymore.  By sheer procrastination I have ruled out long term projects like roasts and stews.  Wasn’t that clever of me?  Fewer options can be a good thing!

Excuse me while I go get some hamburger out and stick it in the microwave on defrost.

Just the other day a bunch of us girls were sitting around discussing this very I’m-so-tired-of-cooking dilemma and the alternative of Hamburger Helper came up.  I don’t know who invented this last-minute-dinner-in-a-box but I gotta say, you’re my hero.  It’s not fine cuisine.  It’s probably not all that nutritious unless you serve it with a salad or a couple sides of veggies, but, will the whole family consent to eat it? Yes!  It’s protein and pasta in a sauce and will keep people alive until you come up with another meal tomorrow.  Some days that’s all you need for a win.

I’ve pondered this for a while: where in the marriage vows does it say “you’ll be responsible for meal plan/prep/serving/clean-up, forever and ever, amen”? 

Is this a Life sentence?  Or a death sentence? 

Is there tiny print at the very bottom of the marriage certificate that you can’t see while wearing the rose-coloured glasses of love?  Should all future brides be warned?  And, if they were warned and took heed, would society as we know it collapse?

Okay, now I’m delving into philosophy … this is pure procrastination, Jocelyn style.

It’s time to go hit Google up for some ideas on what to do with a couple pounds of ground beef.  Better not do Hamburger Helper twice in the same week.