50 YEARS

50 years is way shorter than it used to be.

And, they are making old people way younger these days too.  It’s weird, I know.

Case in point:  this past weekend we were invited to a 50^th Wedding anniversary.  It was a lovely laid-back affair in a big back yard.  A tent-type gazebo for shade, ample lawn chairs to go around, little children playing games, snacks and beverages of all kinds – a summer lawn party for all ages.  Technically speaking a few of the people there had to be over 50 but in that kind of a setting, with all the conversation and reminiscing and laughter, the passage of time loses its grip.  We were just the same group of people who had been there to celebrate their wedding.  The fact that our grandchildren were also present just gave us more to talk about.

Compare that to how a 50^th wedding Anniversary went down in my grandparents’ day.  A church hall was rented and the womenfolk baked up dainties for several days in advance.  I recall all the cousins being in attendance and family pictures being taken.  We all had brand new dresses; everyone from Grandma, mom, me, and all my sisters.  Not store-bought dresses either!  Mom would have tailor made each and every one, probably between batches of daities, in the week leading up to the big day.  I can’t believe how I undervalued such luxury when I had it, and how I longed for store-bought clothing like my friends had – but that’s another story for another time.  A 12 year old’s sense of values is pretty tacky.

The tables were set with actual tea cups and saucers, the family meal served after the ‘come and go’ part of the day was surely served on China, the head table graced with a table cloth and a centerpiece, fine China and napkins.  There would have been fancy cards and speeches.  The word ‘formal’ comes to mind.

The thing that really sets these two occasions apart, though, is how OLD my Grandmother and Grandfather were at the time.  Like, they were ancient!  Grandma’s hair was snow white, her dress old-fashioned.  Grandpa wore a suit, white shirt and tie.  They look like museum pieces in their photo.

Intrigued, I have done the math wondering how much older they were than us at the time.  Zero years.  Strangely, humans who get married in their 20s and manage to stay married for 50 years all end up in their 70s at that milestone. 

Saturday’s bride in her sundress and the groom in shorts and a casual summer shirt were basically the same age as grandma in her mid-calf length, high collared, long sleeved dress standing formally beside her man in his suit.  Both couples the same age but from different centuries.

Obviously the only thing that has changed is the perspective of the observer – me.

Really, what has changed in the half century between these two celebrations?  The venues were different but the activities were the same.  There was food and visiting, laughter and reminiscing, grandchildren and games at both affairs.  Pretty sure that the beverage choices were limited to coffee, tea, and kool-aid in 1967 and a buffet of pulled pork and baked beans set out in a garage would have been shocking to the ‘church ladies’, but the whole idea of hosting and serving a meal for a special occasion is identical.  Sharing food and gathering in celebration is part of the human experience, and will be until the end of time.

Just to add depth to our summer anniversary afternoon party my sister sent me a few photos of their grandson’s wedding happening in Regina the same day – two generations further into the future.  A newly minted couple who look like they shouldn’t even be old enough to graduate high school yet wearing fashions that their children will groan and roll their eyes at in 10 to 15 years (this is inevitable, every new wave of teenagers does it).  Young love and happy smiles … food, music, friends and family.

50 years down the road they too will celebrate as we did on Saturday, and grandma and grandpa did in 1967.  The dress code will have altered.  The menu will be something new and trendy for 2075.  Who knows where the party will be held?  And the guests (depending on which generation they are from) will either think the couple looks ancient or contemporary. 

Age is all in the eye of the beholder, I guess, and it helps if you colour your hair.